Elon Musk sleeps next to a Deus Ex replica gun for no reason

Elon Musk as Deus Ex, holding a Diet Coke can.

Picture: Image Coke / Square Enix / Gotham / GC (Getty) / Kotaku

By his own admission, Elon Musk fell into a deep, dark nothingness next to the pistol in the box. Washington Crossing Delaware on it, four drained, yellow, caffeine-free cans of Diet Coke, and a copy of a Deus Ex: Human Revolution gun held together by screws.

Let me start by saying this: Oh my God. Elon Musk is the man with a pizza sticky mattress on the floor. He’s the guy at the club who walks out like he’s going to make your life one Wax house next part. I did some reverse image searches on Musk’s purported bedside table because it seemed too masculine, too perfect to be a real caricature, but all roads lead. to Musk and the soul-crushing bachelor syndrome that seems to be leaking gas from his body. body. Oh my God.

But you can’t blame the AI-loving, Mars-obsessed billionaire who doesn’t like public transportation. Deus Ex fan. In 2020, he changed his Twitter profile picture arrive Deus Ex cover from 2000, showing super agent and protagonist JC Denton staring sadly, past matrix tiny glasses, perhaps contemplating bringing down trillionaire and gratuitous bioengineer Bob Page.

Musk’s plastic Diamond Back .357 was first seen on JC in human revolutionthe series’ settings from 2011 when he tried and failed to use it against sinewy super soldier Jason Namir. Musk, a self-appointed intergalactic contaminantan accused workplace harassmentand, to help facilitate other things, a lonely knight for freedom of speech, no doubt excited by JC’s battle for cloak technology. In fact, it’s exhilarating at the thought of wielding a great, unremarkable gun while fighting for humanity (by allow more bad words on Twitter) helps him avoid parallelism more clearly between him and the bad guy.

I assume that Diet Cokes provides the cherry aspartame above. Their presence by Musk’s bedside also confirms my growing suspicion that there is a Diet Coke psychopath targeting white people over 25, certainly at the hands of Musk. When I asked all the white people I know what they thought of Diet Coke, they said the following:

  • “It’s fortified water.” – Ian
  • Diet Coke’s appeal lies in the “crispy bubbles like the air of a dreary autumn morning,” alongside the “life-affirming enhancement of 46 milligrams of caffeine per 12 fluid ounces and all without there are calories.” – Wharf
  • “The caffeine-free version destroyed my gut microbiome enough to make me forget about my pain.” – Tick
  • “The taste in the mouth is amazing — you can’t even digest what makes it sweet, so it has this immortality, which explains why we and Elon’s male sculptors loved it so much.” – Zach

Since I’m a girl and not a target of the Diet Coke mentality, I can unequivocally report that it tastes like 100% crude oil. But for Musk and the men he represents, I can see the appeal in fabricating willful ignorance, both with toy guns and soft drinks. Soak it in sweetener. It helps him sleep at night, obviously.


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