Game

Neon White’s Big Positive Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Neon Red stands on the stairs behind Neon Yellow in the video game Neon White.

Screenshots: Annapurna / Kotaku

You won’t believe this when you read its reviews on Steam, but White neon is a T rated game. Seriously, people, keep it in your pants!

Released last week for Switch and PC, White neon is a first-person-platformer-shooting-speedrunning-dating-sim puzzle game with card collecting elements. (Yes, it’s a lot.) You play as White, an assassin aka “Neon,” temporarily raised from hell to purge the heavens of a destructive demon who suffers from conspiratorial amnesia. Between small-scale missions, you chat and hang out with a group of Neon colleagues, all of whom knew White in his pre-death life.

It’s a colorful cast of characters: There’s the stern Red, who frequently flirts with White and hints at a previous relationship between the two. Violet is an undaunted sadist in a deep slit crop top. Yellow is a laid-back man who enjoys drinking beer and playing billiards. But they are all obscured by Green, shredded and bare, and thought to be associated with White in an inseparable degree.

White neon runs like a band camping week, except there are more animal masks.

Yes, to say (very, very) at the very least, lots of hint text, along with a bunch of domtext text. This seems to have ushered in a wave of praise. Of about 1,400 reviews on Steam, 98% are positive — and many of them seem to exhibit some degree of attraction, either expressive or genuine, to the game’s cast of characters. (After some googling, I learned some words that I wish I could open up.)

But everyone has a lot of positive things to talk about White neon it’s him. Some say the platform is a blast, or the tag system is the only AF. Many fans shared the same joke about getting a “free” game along with your “new Machine Girl album.” (Machine Girl, a fancy but popular electronic repertoire based on Brooklyn, created the music for White neon. I can confirm: The OST is awesome.) Even some of the negative reviews tend to give the game thumbs down in praise of the game, whether it’s an acknowledgment of how tight the game is. Play or picture how gorgeous.

This is White neonas said in surprising and surprising equal parts the filthy realm of Steam reviews.


Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Van / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

Image for article titled Neon White's Steam Reviews Are Horny As Hell

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review for Neon White found a positive buzz for the PC game.

Screenshots: Valve / Kotaku

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