‘The Kardashians’ Season Finale Deprives Us of Pete Davidson Once More

On Thursday, the first season of Hulu’s The Kardashians ended with the saddest and least enjoyable drama-focused finale in Kardashian Kanon: Tristan Thompson’s Relentless Infidelity. The inaugural season of the famous family’s new docusoap saw Khloe and Tristan happily raise their daughter, True, and prepare to move in together as a family. However, the past nine episodes have led to the big reveal that Tristan cheated on Khloe and a child’s father with another woman.

Yes, it’s a good joke, but it’s really too tragic at this point to be amusing. Khloe wanted more than anything to have a family and another child, and since she thought this scammer was her best shot, she gave him one chance after another. There was the first known affair when Khloe was 9 months pregnant with True, Tristan’s love rumors with a close family friend, Jordyn Woods, 21, and now this person. Among Tristan, the cruel shame she endured in the early days of Keeping up with the Kardashians and she struggles with ex-husband Lamar OdomAbusing stimulants, Koko can’t rest. Fans want to see her get the happy ending she deserves.

In last week’s episode, poor innocent Khloe declared that things are going really well in her life. Perhaps… surprisingly good? Of course, we knew what was to come, as the show was filmed late last year. Plus, it’s an unwritten rule of reality TV editing that when someone is having a heated discussion about how great they are doing, disaster is about to strike.

Cut scenes of Kim screaming at her iPhone in the Personal Equinox attached to her house. When any of these women’s voices rise above a monotone, you know it’s dwindling. Somehow, Kim got Tristan’s written statement from his paternity lawsuit against Maralee Nichols, in which he admitted to having sex with her after Khloe’s birthday party for him in Houston. The KKW Beauty founder frantically did a biceps curl and hosted an urgent three-way phone call with Kylie and Kourtney about whether Khloe would finally come through with that bronzer-covered head of hers. Tristan is a bad news or not. The episode ends with Khloe answering Kim’s calls.

When the finale began, Khloe had just woken up to Kim’s texts and calls, so the cameras would capture her live reaction to the news. Her initial reaction was one of shock and anger. Fortunately, Kim passed Baby Bar on the fourth attempt and was able to explain the legal nuances of the situation. Kimberly is righteously throwing out the words everyone knows like “attorney” and “litigation” as if she were Elle Woods in the courtroom explaining there is no way Chutney could have showered within 24 hours. upon receipt of an intentional incident. The reality of the situation finally subsided and Khloe could hear sobs on the other end of the line. Kim, satisfied that she’d had enough to ease her sister’s heartbreak over ratings, waved the camera away.

“I know what Tristan is doing with the rest of the world,” Khloe said in the confessional. “A courtesy won’t do, but well, if you do, won’t you even let me know in advance the rest of the world? It was just an additional slap in the face for me. It is humiliating.” c. It really sounds like a terrible way to live in a relationship. Damn Tristan! And playing basketball is terrible! OK, so I’m not sure about that last part, but I’m furious!

The show’s editors seem to share my personal views against Khloe’s adulterous father as they include an adorable clip of Tristan and the four-year-old Just As Khloe lamented in voiceovers that every big gesture, family vacation and event is a lie. The effect is to make Tristan look more like a dust bag than we already know about him.

Next, we check in with Kendall, who I forgot about on this show. That’s probably because she never really did anything except once a few episodes ago when she couldn’t figure out how to cut a cucumber. In this week’s episode, we see her unpacking herself from a super-coffin-sized room and emerge, laptop in hand, as if she’s spying on the emails in it. This scene makes absolutely no sense, even though it contains the funniest line of the episode and possibly the whole season. “Over the past few years, I’ve really fallen in love with health,” the supermodel announced. Good for you, Kenny! It gives the same energy as Kylie speech that 2016 is “the year of making things happen”.

Kourtney, meanwhile, took a break from fretting about Khloe to do some lighthearted porn for the Hulu crew. She and current husband Travis greet each other with a kiss that doesn’t look like breathing into each other’s mouths while lightly touching their tongues. Those are some of their most disgusting things PDA so far, on reflex, I scream and push my laptop away. The loving couple are at Travis’s studio, where Kris is recording a cover of “Jingle Bells,” just because. Her classic holiday performance sounds like laughing ghosts and it’s all very funny.

She and current husband Travis greet each other with a kiss that doesn’t look like breathing into each other’s mouths while lightly touching their tongues. Those are some of their most disgusting PDAs to date, making me reflexively scream and push my laptop away.

There is also a scene of extreme chaos as Kim tries to wrap up her children for a Christmas photo shoot. Her collection of glitzy, bohemian looks, adorned with matching SKIMS sweats, swam around the studio as helpless photographers gazed on. Three-year-old Psalm drank ginger ale unsupervised and Chicago wouldn’t stop crying. Kim complains that not a single photo is usable because North always turns off the camera in each photo. Where are the 17 nannies she could have on her payroll?

Between these scenes, various combinations of family members gather to discuss the Khloe-Tristan story, but frankly, those conversations are less interesting than the happy rich people. Irrelevant fun fills the rest of the episode. Everyone is begging Khloe to confirm that she’s done well with Tristan this time.

At one point, Scott – Kardashian’s original immortal boyfriend – tries to comfort her, but instead ends up saying that if he were her, he’d never be able to believe it. think someone else. Kim is more than 100% about bullshit, saying to her sister at the end of the episode, “If it were me and I’m really trying to atone and I’m trying to be a better person, I would definitely keep my dick in my pants.”

Overall though, it’s the funny, really weird moments in between that make this a solid ending, like when Kris goes on to mispronounce cacio e pepe pasta as “cacio de pepe” “; or when, during a promotional photo shoot on Hulu, Kourtney suggests that they do a “silly thing,” and they all stay completely frank and flash only signs of peace.

The sisters and Kris each received a montage of their season arcs. Khloe talks about her resilience, Kourtney tells her perfect love story, and Kendall makes vague comments about the rest of her family because she doesn’t have anything going on. out in your own life. Kylie makes her first appearance in the episode to remind us that at the time, she was pregnant with her unnamed son. formerly known as Wolf Webster. Kim joked about going to medical school after she finished law school.

The finale ends with Kris tapping her iPhone screen and pretending to receive a dramatic text, but before she can tell us what’s going on (nothing), the episode ends with a completely unnecessary and overused title tag — as in , the story will continue into the following season. Like, yeah, that’s just how TV shows work.

Anyway, if Pete Davidson doesn’t show up in Season 2, I’m prepared to sue.

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